I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize