im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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