My Higher Power is John Stamos
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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