I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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