I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
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I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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