it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
can u get pink eye on your cock?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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