Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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