Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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