Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize