it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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