in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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