Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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