Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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