I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize