You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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