Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
where am i from again
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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