Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
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We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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