if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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