i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is Oprah even human
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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