I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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