do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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