i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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