This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize