Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
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He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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