She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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