I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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