I accidentally had phone sex last night
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
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We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
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Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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