last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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