Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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