wakey wakey hands off snakey
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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