if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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