Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
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I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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