I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize