nut hugger
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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