I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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