i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I need moral support for this bender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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