I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize