theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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