Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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