his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize