We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize