In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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