The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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