He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
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Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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