I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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