You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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