Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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