Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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