I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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