We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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